Eeeemmmm…, where should I start? I would like to begin by recall on my first day when I receive the ‘Understanding Human Sexuality’ book in my mailbox. I never think triple when I want to buy a book. But this time, I think about it more than 10 times! My friend that already took the class told me, she sold back the book. It is because she feeling uncomfortable if the book still in her house, and if her kids read/saw the book. High probability it is because of its contents and very illustrative pictures! toksah kata la kan, ade gambo teknik buat seks - for heterosexual n homosexuals too !!! nasib bukan real person nye gambo, lukisan. Definitely! I read n go through the book and at the same time saying “Ya Allah, please forgive me”. Don’t get me wrong, I have the guilty feelings if I saw something that I’m not supposed to see or kind of forbidden, I phrase it. I believe it is sinful to do it.
However, from my point of view, it goes back to my intention. How come doctors want to do their job’ right? Got vulnerable side in between here… I want to learn academically and also at the same time know my limitations. In order to achieve it, I must expose myself to “it”. Desensitization? Probably, it is the correct term here. So, it should be OK, to read and saw anything about ‘human sexuality’. Take it as knowledge, it should be fine.
I’m hoping that this class will give me different perspective about human sexuality and how I can apply it or how it would beneficial in my socio-cultural context. Interestingly, while I scan the book, my eyes catch word “Malaysia”. I knew we got issue about sex-oriented business too, but the author wrongly put Macau is in Malaysia. Supposedly Macau is in China (an island beside Hong Kong, famous for tourism).
After watching the documentary entitled “History of Sexuality”, I could conclude that sexuality can’t be separated with human being and really have a huge impact to civilization. Sex @ sexuality doesn’t mean refer to having sex only (relationship between 2 people) but it is more than that. I never thought that USA used to be close and taboo about sex, long…long time ago. It is a issue for women riding a bike? What???? sebab pakai skirt, n terdedah betis yg puteh melepak tu bila kayuh beskal'..wpon skirt labuh! memang la apa2 pon bole jadi simbol seks and attract men...mnakutkan bile pikir! What captivated me, I can say that ‘sexual education was first being taught in army’ and because of War, everything was changed. From people, culture, lifestyle and etc…to development of nation. Once, I heard that USA lost in Vietnam War, also because of sex. But, I’m not sure how accurate this statement was. However, I could imagine the relationship between it. =) Young powerful guys, beautiful weak girls….eemmm…what should I say more? Ooo la laaa. Could be or couldn’t be. Ooooo Candy, you’re being judgmental!!! Ooops … hahaahaa…
I’m amaze by how Margaret H. Sanger keeps promoting and educate women about birth control and family plan for years and years. Even though, she got difficulties along her way to advocate women’s reproductive rights. I totally agree with her opinion that no child should be unwanted or unloved. If the woman has baby every year, she really will get tired aka burnout? bukan senang ooo, nak mgandung ni n bersalin...kkdg rasa xsanggup nak jadi pompuan ni. huhuuu.. Thus, if the woman is working, they have to take care all the kids, family and others….wow, that’s really a huge…huge job for them. No time for self care. It reminds me to my neighbor, she has eight children (the year gap between children is so close). I can see that “the development” of her children was not in a good stage of development or environment (involved in social problems and etc). Maybe it is just my personal point of view only. I really salute to all moms who can manage all that stuff and at the same time, all the children were in a good hand. Like my mom! =)
Frankly speaking, I’m feeling uncomfortable (shy) seeing all the ‘artifacts, monuments, images and etc’, that showing or reflect the sexual organs. It is kind a weird feeling (traumatized) to see all that all over the place. Eeeeeee….. My mind keep refresh all the images in the first few days…, hard to get it out from my mind. Huhuuu… But I have to admit that “we’re different”, off course, their values or belief not as same like me. Take it as unique lesson to learn. mana tak ye, suma gambo, gambo penis, breasts, nude pics...sama ade real person or statues, drawing...ade satu gambo tu kat Italy, tombol sinki tu bentuk dia exactly rupe 'penis'! giler!!! mmg creative sungguh org2 yg reka ni...artistic sungguh!
note: This series is a part of my journals for my human sexuality class that I attended last summer.
