Invitation: Talk - "Mindfulness: Journey to A Healthier Me" 25 Nov 2015, 2.30pm, Main Meeting Room, FCSHD, UNIMAS

Ia ada jemputan untuk perkongsian secara dalaman sebenarnya mengenai topik Mindfulness (Ketara Sedar), tetapi jika ada yang berminat, boleh menghubungi saya terus di email msnoraz@gmail.com untuk menyatakan hasrat untuk hadir.

Sila rujuk jemputan asal yang diatur oleh rakan sekerja saya Puan Aina Razlin secara emel dalaman seperti di bawah. .
Terima kasih. '

peace & all good,
Nora :)

*********************************************************************************
Greeting from Department of Counselling

You are cordially invited to attend the Counselling Colloquium as follows:

Topic: Mindfulness : Journey to A Healthier Me 

Presenter: Siti Norazilah Mohd Said
Date: 25 November 2015 , Wednesday
Time: 2.30 - 4.30pm
Venue: Main Meeting Room, Level 1, FCSHD

Synopsis:

"Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally" ~ Prof. Emeritus Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness is an approach which has been widely used in many Western countries for many purposes with different target population. This approach has recently become popular in Malaysia. Basically, it helps us to monitor or become aware of how our mind works. This will help us to de-clutter any unnecessary things and accept life experiences even when it is painful. Previous studies have shown that Mindfulness able to improve well being, physical health, and mental health issues.

"I learned about Mindfulness while doing my Internship back in 2009. Since then, it is been ups and down practicing it in my daily life and at workplace. Here, I would like to share about Mindfulness and how's it works. Mindfulness has greatly impact my lives, helping me out even in tough situations. I hope by sharing this, it may helps you too. So, come and join me this coming Wednesday! =)" ~ Siti Norazilah

An interesting knowledge to share.

Your attendance and participation are greatly appreciated.

Thank you.


Aina Razlin

Penjagaan Diri @ Self Care

Khamis, 23 April 2015.

Pagi ini saya sempat berkongsi dengan para pelajar Tahun 3 program Kaunseling berkenaan Penjagaan Diri.

Ia topik yang agak mudah tapi sebenarnya agak kompleks jika membicarakannya. Self care adalah satu istilah yang merujuk kepada bagaimana individu tersebut mengambil langkah bagi menjaga kesihatan diri dari pelbagai perspektif dan dengan macam-macam cara...secara mudahnya ia adalah suatu konsep asas kita berbalik kepada keperluan diri. Dalam erti kata lain, ia memberi masa personal untuk diri sendiri menikmatinya.

Saya amat tertarik dengan perkongsian di dalam laman web ini https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201403/seven-types-self-care-activities-coping-stress

Saya mula mengetahui konsep ini apabila ia diperbincangkan secara khusus di dalam kelas Foundation of Mental Health Counselling sewaktu belajar suatu ketika dulu. Saya masih ingat antara perkara yang saya tulis adalah jungle trekking... =) dan ia menjadi memori ikatan antara perkara yang paling diingati oleh rakan sekelas dan profesor saya  sehingga kini. Terkejut mereka apabila mendengarnya...dan saya terkebil-kebil tidak memahami 'apa yang peliknya' aktiviti masuk hutan ini. Ini kerana Indiana tiada hutan rimba macam yang kita ada....hanya daratan yang rata...tiada bukit bukau... hehee
Kalo ada pun, bukanlah hutan tebal seperti kita...

OK, berbalik semasa di kelas, saya mulakan perkongsian dengan bertanya khabar mereka dan bertanya apa agaknya yang ingin saya kongsikan pada pagi itu. Apatah lagi saya masuk mengantikan waktu kelas Seminar Kaunseling. Dipendekkan cerita, saya minta mereka membayangkan seterusnya melukis wajah mereka sendiri ketika mereka di dalam keadaan emosi yang berat (tidak selesa)...contohnya, marah, sedih, dilema, kusut dan sebagainya. Kemudian, saya minta mereka lukis pula ketika di dalam keadaan yang paling mereka sukai (seperti gembira, tenang...). Kami bincangkan seketika aktiviti ini dengan mengaitkan apa yang mereka dapati/perasan/perhatikan semasa membuat aktiviti ini.

Pelbagai reaksi hadir...antaranya antara wajah 1 dan 2...melukis wajah keadaan yang selesa dan gembira sangat senang dan cepat berbanding wajah dalam keadaan pertama. Ada juga yang menyatakan wajah mereka dalam dua keadaan tersebut adalah sama. :) Saya cuma tersenyum...dan bertanya... apakah maknanya. Saya tinggalkan pertanyaan itu kepada yang membaca refleksi saya ini.

Agak-agak apakah maknanya pembaca sekalian?

Kemudian saya kongsikan bahawa self care ini boleh dibahagikan kepada tujuh elemen iaitu spritual, emotional, physical, social, pleasure, sendory dan mental mastery. Setelah penerangan ketujuh elemen tersebut, saya minta pelajar untuk merenung dan memikirkan sejenak apa yang akan mereka lakukan untuk menjaga diri dalam memenuhi keperluan diri mereka....iaitu "My Self Care List".

Setiap pelajar diminta untuk berkongsi satu perkara yang mereka akan lakukan dengan menulis di papan putih (seperti dalam gambar di bawah). Jika dilihat, terdapat lebih 40 idea aktiviti yang boleh mereka lakukan.

Saya berdoa dan berharap agar pelajar saya mampu untuk mengamalkan self care ini bila-bila masa dan di mana-mana sahaja ....walaupun ketika mereka di dalam keadan yang sangat tertekan dan tiada masa untuk mengamalkannya.

Lain entri, saya akan bincangkan pengalaman saya mengamalkan self care ini serta kebaikannya...InsyaALLAH.

Akhir kalam, buatlah sesuatu yang baik pada diri...ianya akan terserlah dari dalam ke luar.

Peace & all good, take care. 

Mdm Nora =) 

Talk: Saya Sihat ;)

Malam Rabu yang lalu, saya dihubungi oleh jawatankuasa Persatuan Mahasiswa FSKPM untuk menyampaikan satu ceramah berkisar kesihatan mental. Slot ceramah tersebut adalah pada hari Isnin 20 April ini. Saya dah baring dan bersedia nak terlelap dah pun...kepenatan selepas seharian ada Retreat Jabatan, walaupun jam baru menunjukkan pukul 10malam...jarang saya tidur awal sangat.

Dalam keadaan yang terkejut serta kepenatan...saya bertanya lanjut dan minta menghubungi saya semula keesokan harinya. Jika diikutkan rasa hati dan jadual yang padat pada minggu ini, saya ingin menolak jemputan tersebut. Apatah lagi, di saat akhir jemputan tersebut. Demi memikirkan untuk pelajar dan siapa lagi yang boleh mereka jemput dalam keterbatasan waktu untuk mengisi slot tersebut...saya gagahkan diri juga untuk menerimanya. 

Sepatutnya sesi ceramah dan perkongsian ini selama 2jam, saya pohon hanya dapat diadakan selama sejam sahaja dengan limitasi masa yang saya ada. 

Diharap perkongsian ringkas ini dapat memberi serba sedikit ilmu dan ruang untuk pelajar berfikir serta mengamalkan gaya hidup sihat serta menjaga kesihatan mental mereka. InsyaAllah :) 

terima kasih kepada rakan seperjuangan...Kak Salmah dan Abg Edris yang sudi menjenguk dan mengambil gambar saya yang tengah bersemangat bercerita tu...hehee

 

Journey to Healthier Me! Be Mindful, Be Healthy, Be Happy :)

Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadratNya...
sesuatu yang memang saya ingin lakukan sejak tahun 2009, akhirnya bakal berlangsung. Saya dan 2 pelajar Tahun Akhir saya iaitu Shaira & Nisha akan mengadakan program yang menggunakan pendekatan Ketara Sedar (Mindfulness) untuk membantu individu menjalani hidup yang lebih sihat.

Yeap, kami merekabentuk modul untuk digunakan dalam konteks masyarakat Malaysia. Banyak yang ingin diperkatakan, saya simpulkan dengan poster dan brosur yang disertakan. Lain entri, saya akan kongsikan bagaimana saya 'bertemu dengan Ketara Sedar' dan perjalanan yang dilaluinya. Jika dibaca entri saya yang lalu, ada saya kongsikan random mindfulness activity yang saya lakukan.

Till then, be mindful in whatever you do =)

a simple recipe of KARIPAP @ CURRY PUFF =)

Resepi ni saya tulis semasa saya berada di USA dan saya telah kongsikan resepi ini di Facebook untuk rakan2 saya di sana. Mana tahu ada yang nak belajar buat karipap, boleh cuba resepi ini. Selamat mencuba! =) 

Karipap

July 26, 2010 at 5:16am

PublicFriendsOnly MeCustomUniversiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS)Universiti Malaysia SarawakSee all lists...Kuching, Malaysia AreaFamilyGo Back

KARIPAP @ CURRY PUFF

It is among Malaysian famous snack (finger foods) either in the morning, afternoon or in the evening time. It looks like a half circle and crimp at the edges and filled with curried potatoes. It is crispy in the outside, savory and sooo yummy. You will not notice that you already eat 3 pieces or more than that in one time.

During my childhood, I used to help my mom making ‘karipap’ or curry puff and ‘popia’ or spring rolls to sell at the stall at my neighborhood to support my family. So, after I got back from school in the afternoon and eat lunch, I will start the process by rolling the dough, till frying it in hot oil. Usually, my mom had prepared the filling (curried potatoes) and the dough in the morning. In the weekend, I can make more than 100 pieces a day. I still remember, the price is only 10 cent per piece at that time, and today you can only get 2 or 3 pieces for a dollar.

Last spring break 2010, I made ‘karipap’ for the guys. They really like it. Here, it is my pleasure to share with you my mom ‘karipap’ recipe from Malaysia for Emmaus Ministries cookbook.

FILLING:
2 @ 3 tablespoons oil
1 medium red onion (finely chopped)
2 cloves garlic (finely chopped)
A bit of ginger (finely chopped-optional)
2 tablespoons curry powder @ paste
4 medium potatoes (diced) @ sweet potatoes (you may combine it, to make it taste naturally sweet)
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper @ chili powder (if you like spicy)
½ cup chicken breast @ beef @ shrimp (diced) – additional
A bit of chicken skin (as flavor only when sauté) – additional
Water

PASTRY:
2 cup flour
3 tablespoons vegetable @ canola oil
½ cup of water (add a pinch of salt)

Vegetable @ canola oil for frying karipap

METHOD:
Make the filling first. Heat oil and fry onion, garlic, and ginger until golden brown. Add the curry powder/paste (add water a bit), chicken and fry gently. Add potatoes, salt, pepper, red crushed pepper. Add water about ½ level from the level of potatoes in the pot. Stir for a while, cover. Half through open the cover and let it dry to prevent mushy. Cook until potatoes tender. Leave aside to cool.

To make pastry dough, heat oil for a while. Pour hot oil in flour, mix. Add water slowly until good consistency and knead well. Make a small rounded (around 1’’ diameter) dough. Roll the dough into circle.

Put a filling into the pastry and fold over to make a half circle and crimp at edges. (You may use fork-press gently at edges). Deep fry in hot oil until golden brown. The recipe can make around 18-20 pieces.You may add anything you like and adjust it according to your preference.

Enjoys! =) with a tea or coffee as your snack.

If you try it, tell me how it is! Hope you like it.

dough...

roll it...

fill in the filling...

crimp it at the edges...

WOO LAH!!! =)

Like ·  · Share

• 

  Carl Jylland-Halverson Thank you, very, very nice! That was a great trip.

  July 26, 2010 at 5:50am · Like
• 

  Arfah Zaini epok-epok! yummeh!

  July 26, 2010 at 9:09am · Like
• 

  Vanessa Jones-Premer Thank you so much! I got to take home some of the left overs when you made it for class. My husband has been asking about them ever since 

  July 26, 2010 at 9:59am · Unlike · 1

Keterujaan Membakar Kek dan sama waktu dengannya

Musim ini musim buat kek... yee haaa...baking je kerja saya di kala masa terluang dan tak terluang =P

To dated, I baked 7 desserts in just a month, which is suprisingly not me! Haha haaa...  keterujaan membakar dan menikmatinya bersama rakan-rakan dan pelajar amat membuatkan hati ini gembira. It bring back good memories =))    Yeap, it is a part of my self care list.
Tahun 2014 amat diingati dan memberi kesan yang mendalam dalam perkembangan diri ini. Tahun yang amat mencabar secara personal sama ada melibatkan hal kerja di pejabat mahupun diri dan keluarga.

I love baking...and eating (of coz la kan)...it's been a while I did'nt bake. Baking is a good STRESS RELIEVER too... kalo ada rasa nak tumbuk-tumbuk je orang, lagi baik kita pukul-kacau adunan kita ni jadi sampai gebu... Haha ha..
Jadi, moh ler kita membakar kek

So, here is my list of baking since Dec'14 :

• A ready made -Double Choc Brownies 
• Chocolate Brownies (recipe from the latest cookbook by Chef Wan)
• A ready made - Oren Poppyseed Muffin
• A ready made - Red Velvet Cake (cream cheese saya buat sendiri)
• Blueberry Buttery Pound Cake ( http://thegoodsaltcompany.com/blog/ ) 
• Amish Friendship Breads ( http://www.friendshipbreadkitchen.com/amish-friendship-bread )
• Burre Noite Vanilla Bean Cake ( http://dailydelicious.blogspot.com/2014/11/beurre-noisette-and-vanilla-bean-cake.html) 

Di lain entri saya akan berkongsi resepi-resepi di atas....tapi kita layan dulu gambar yang mengiurkan ini...heheee... Ada yg tak sempat snap gambar...terlupa..dan habis....yang mana sempat je la kita layan ye. =)

Walaupun nampak agak gelap, tapi sebenarnya sangat sedap...sedikit garing di atas sebab oven agak panas dan kecil. Ditambah pula dengan chocolate chips dan walnut ditabur di atasnya...terbau kulit kayu manis dan vanilla yang harum.

Saya memang menggunakan kacang vanilla yang asal...jika dilihat, ada kaviar vanila (biji) halus di dalam tekstur kek. Pada masa sama kulit kacang vanila tu saya cincang halus masuk sekali...itu yang ada nampak cam biji warna hitam. Wangi kek ini....bau vanila =) I use Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla Bean and Tahitian Vanilla Bean in this recipe. 

Yang ni memang guna kepingan coklat gelap yang banyak + walnut yang rangup. Disebabkan ada sedikit kesilapan teknikal bila guna teknik double boiler (bain marie method), brownies ni jadi agak rangup, jadi rasa dia ramai yang kata macam chewy cookies. Apa pun yang pasti memang sedap gak la... (ni puji diri sendiri). 

haaaa... Kek Red Velvet ni pula dibuat ala-ala untuk meraikan hari lahir saya....heheee 

Macam biasa, sedap gak.. (puji diri sendiri lagi...sila abaikan ayat ini) ha haa

Suka pelajar saya dan rakan opis bila makan kek ni =) 

Sekian sahaja untuk kali ini. Salam Tahun Baru 2015. 

Moga tahun ini kita sentiasa bersiap siaga dalam apa juga keadaan dan melakukan banyak amal kebaikan sebagai bekalan untuk ke alam yang kekal. Amin. :) 

Farewell lunch and How to make your own Chai Tea

Happy holidays everyone! =) (ho ho hoo mode)

Yesterday, we had a farewell lunch for our respectable Professor Hong Kian Sam at the main meeting room. He took earlier pension and will leaving us soon on Jan 2015. It's been a sad moment when he deliver his speech...he been at the faculty since 1997 as tutor till present as a professor. Very committed and knowlegable person. He really knows well on his field...a mathemathician and statistician, and in learning sciences. I personally remember him as a great teacher and a humble, inspiring mentor. All his ex-students said that he teaches them well...very good. Best kalau Prof mengajar... :)

Saya tidak berkesempatan nak belajar banyak dengan beliau dalam dunia akademik ni...  huhuu...  sayang melihat beliau pergi dari sini... :(

Apa pun, I would like to say thank you to him and wishing Prof and family a happier lives and all the best in whatever route he venture to. We will miss you Prof ...

While eating...I and kak Ton chit chat...from one story to another story..from halal chickens to recipes..then we talked about the delicious chai tea. To make it short here, kak Farida share her recipe on making simple but delicious homemade chai tea. Bila teringat chai tea yang kak Farida buat...fuhh...terasa kesedapannya...bau nya, rasa nya..boleh bayangkan... Jadi, petang semalam tak dapat ditahan tahan dah keinginan untuk buat chai tea. So, after office hours. I went to Everise, BDC and Choice Daily store to get Darjeeling tea.

CHAI TEA 

•  2 glass plain water 
•  1 glass full cream milk 
•  2-4 sachets Darjeeling tea 
•  3 pieces of green cardamon (buah pelaga hijau) crushed a bit (tekan je sikit pakai pisau tu)
•  1-2cm ginger -crushed a bit 
•  White or brown sugar 

Bring everything to a boil, stir it...and let it simmer with low heat for few minutes. You need to cover the pot to keep the aroma of chai tea sealed. Then, you able to smells the nice aroma of chai. Serve it hot with cookies or any dessert. You may adjust the recipe,according to your taste. Enjoys! =))

According to sis Farida, the secret to good chai tea lies with great ingredients which are pure darjeeling tea and green cardamon. Yeap, please avoid using the ordinary tea or cardamon.

Jadi apa lagi, tak perlu pergi Starbucks or Coffee Bean untuk dapatkan secawan teh chai. Buat sendiri lagi bagus...dan jimat! =)


ps: saya dah pernah minum di kedua kedai kopi di atas (sebelum saya boikot sepenuhnya salah satu kedai tu), tapi rasa chai tea mereka tak strong...can't smell the nice aroma. Kemungkinan besar mereka dah ubahsuai rasa tu dengan rasa-lidah rakyat Malaysia.

Happy Birthday to ME ! =)

ahaaaaaa....as title as it be, yeap, I would like to wish a Happy Birthday to myself. Semoga aku sentiasa di bawah lindungunNya dan barakahNya. Begitu juga sesiapa yang sama tarikh dengan aku....amin. memang sungguh lama tak post apa-apa di blog ni, berkarat dah agaknya. tapi, boleh dipolish balik. Mungkin sebab tarikh hari ini amat cantik 12/12/2012, memang cantekss sangat. tu sebab yang tetiba rasa nak update blog ni. Kalo di UNIMAS hari ini, macam-macam event yang berlaku. Malam ini akan ada Konsert Titian Gemilang UNIMAS bersama Orkestra RTM di DeTAR PUTRA. Ia bersempena UNIMAS menyambut ulangtahun yang ke 20 tahun ini. dan sebentar tadi, baru je dalam kelas KMC 1083: Basic Helping Skills group 4 (final year st HRD buat suprise birthday party. Fuh........tidak disangka2. To my beloved students, thank you so much! I really appreciated it ;)) love u guys....siap ada tema lagi...warna ungu, nak dijadikan cerita aku pun pakai baju ala2 tema...gambar2 yang ditangkap tadi akan diupload kemudian.

For all wishes, Thank u guys! Thank you Allah =)

Salam Hijrah, Happy 2010 ! Penjenamaan diri aka rebranding myself...

Assalamualaikum wbt & salam sejahtera...class (terasa cam masok kelas mengajar plak :p)

Walaupun hari ni hari terakhir di bulan Januari 2010, dah 13 Safar 1431 dah pon kita ni, rasanya belum terlambat lagi saya nak mengucapkan Salam Hijrah dan Happy New Year pada semua. :) Moga segala azam dan hijrah yang ingin kita capai atau laksanakan akan dipermudahkan urusan olehNya. Ameen.

Eid Adha & Thanksgiving unite

Salam Eid ul Adha & Happy Thanksgiving ! =)

This year, we celebrate Eid ul Adha and Thanksgiving in the same week, selang sehari je…kalo ikutkan the same day jugak la. Coz kebiasaannya Thanksgiving ‘the big feast among American’ 4th Thursday of November every year. Dan tahun ni kita sambut Aidil Adha atau Hari Raya Korban pada hr Jumaatnya. What a blessing week! semoga pengorbanan yg kita lakukan di bawah lembayungNya n sama2 la kita bersyukur dan menghargai apa yg kita ada selama ini. Alhamdulillah.

So, utk mindfulness activity, apa kata ambil masa dalam 5 ke 10 minit, berfikir sejenak dan reka akronim dari perkataan 'Thankful' or 'Aidil Adha', yg ade kaitan dgn nya. terpulang pada kreativiti @ macamana gayanya anda nak lakukan. samaada reka sajak, foods, or just write down 'things that I should be thankful for'. macam yg telah saya lakukan di bawah:

T : Thank you Allah, for giving me another day to appreciates this world.
H : Home is a sweetest place to be.
A : A good friend is everlasting.
N : No regrets for what I have done, it is learning experiences.
K : Keep it short and simple as I can.
F : Forgiveness is a journey into my faith.
U : U never know what U will come across till you searching your own infinite possibilities.
L : Life is Beautiful !

bosan2 atau tak tahu nak buat apa, please take time to do it, it would be interesting to see what's will come out! selamat mencuba! :)

U guys make my day! thanks =)

A : A lion, a bear and a pig are sitting around discussing how hard they each are. The lion says "when I roar the whole jungle shakes". The bear says "when I roar the whole forest trembles". "So what", says the pig, "all I have to do is sneeze and the whole fucking world shit's itself"!!

Z : hahahaa
T : i dont get it
A :swine flu!!
T :but technically, it's not all the pig's fault.
A :sis T, Why do seagulls live near the sea?
T :so they can watch women in bikinis?
A :coz if the live near the bay, the would be bay-gull (bagels)
T :now THAT's funny! lol
C :hahahaaa :))
A :a wise man once told me 'dont go to bed angry' since then, ive been cracking on jokes b4 i go to sleep...LOL right ?
C :u guys make my day! thanks :)
A :glad to help sister!

Lose, lost & found...

Lately, I can’t concentrate at all! I lost focus and my composure. I knew something bothers me and it keep going on in my mind, ruminating over and over again. It really affects me. I weight myself, guess what? I lose 10lbs in just 2weeks! Before this, I jaga makan n exercise pon in 2months baru lose the same amount. Plus, I was sick last week, lagi la reduce my appetites. I can sense my pants and clothes become bigger. I think I need a belt too. Which, I don’t like to wear belt. Semua dah mengecik, terasa diri dah x seksi, (bole plak piker ke ctu’) hahahaa =)) Candy2,..isk..iskk.. indirectly, dlm hati, gembira gak bcoz xperlu wat ape, dah susut. Makan apa pon rasa cam x best, n asyik pg tandas je…diarrhea. Teringat kt my frenz sorang ni, everytime die start talking with me, musti excuse pg toilet. Kkdg myampah je malas nak layan lain kali. Tapi as a frenz, I layan jugak la kan. Kena la support n paham, xtau bila time kita tiba nanti, myb we’ll need them. macam tu la I pikir. Bila teringat, xsangka it happen to me right now. Lost appetites & pg tandas je kejanya…mmg x best langsung! Terrible! I hate to be in this position! I’m just hoping I can talk and share with my frenz. Sembang kosong, layan je sy ni yg kkdg mgarut ntah apa2…it do help me to get over it. I missed that moment. I lost the friendship. My guess, probably die has a good reason to avoid me. I didn’t blame die. Nope...not at all. For my own benefit, it’s better to be silent. entah la, myb this is just my ‘all or nothing thought’. Adat la org dlm grieving stage, macam2 pkara difikirkan, dari A ke Z, walhal xde apa pon. It’s not a big deals right? At this moment, I just felt I lost the meaning of friendship. I’m just hoping the day will come & we’ll get back together, sharing & laughing as a good friend, no matter what had happened before =) But, I knew I found Him…I got Him…the One and Only that I can depend to, turn to…always be with me no matter who, how, what, why, when…I am,… He is the One that give me courage and strength to go through this life. Hanya padaMu, aku beserah…

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
“Tiada Tuhan (yang dapat menolong) melainkan Engkau (Ya Allah), Maha Suci (daripada melakukan aniaya, tolonglah daku). Sesungguhnya aku adalah dari orang-orang yang menganiaya diri sendiri. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku mohon kepadaMu hal-hal yang dapat menentukan rahmatMu dan menguatkan pegampunanMu, memperolehi segala kebaikan, menyelamatkan dari kejahatan, memperolehi syurga dan selamat dari api neraka. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau mendengar ucapanku, melihat tempat tinggalku, mengetahui lahir batinku, dan tidak ada satu urusan pun dari urusanku yang tersembunyi olehMu. Dan aku adalah hamba yang sengsara dan amat memerlukan, hamba yang meminta pertolongan dan yang memohon bantuan, hamba yang penakut, yang minta dikasihani, yang mengakui dan menyatakan semua dosa-dosanya kepadaMu. Ya Allah, aku mohon kepadaMu sebagaimana memintanya si miskin, dan aku berdoa kepadaMu seperti doanya orang berdosa yang amat hina. Aku mohon kepadaMu seperti orang penakut lagi pula buta, juga seperti berdoanya orang yang menundukkan jiwanya, merendahkan raganya dan wajah serta hidungnya kepadaMu. Ya Allah, tabahkan la hati hambaMu ini… ameen.”

Exposure to Human Sexuality...(1)

Eeeemmmm…, where should I start? I would like to begin by recall on my first day when I receive the ‘Understanding Human Sexuality’ book in my mailbox. I never think triple when I want to buy a book. But this time, I think about it more than 10 times! My friend that already took the class told me, she sold back the book. It is because she feeling uncomfortable if the book still in her house, and if her kids read/saw the book. High probability it is because of its contents and very illustrative pictures! toksah kata la kan, ade gambo teknik buat seks - for heterosexual n homosexuals too !!! nasib bukan real person nye gambo, lukisan. Definitely! I read n go through the book and at the same time saying “Ya Allah, please forgive me”. Don’t get me wrong, I have the guilty feelings if I saw something that I’m not supposed to see or kind of forbidden, I phrase it. I believe it is sinful to do it.

However, from my point of view, it goes back to my intention. How come doctors want to do their job’ right? Got vulnerable side in between here… I want to learn academically and also at the same time know my limitations. In order to achieve it, I must expose myself to “it”. Desensitization? Probably, it is the correct term here. So, it should be OK, to read and saw anything about ‘human sexuality’. Take it as knowledge, it should be fine.

I’m hoping that this class will give me different perspective about human sexuality and how I can apply it or how it would beneficial in my socio-cultural context. Interestingly, while I scan the book, my eyes catch word “Malaysia”. I knew we got issue about sex-oriented business too, but the author wrongly put Macau is in Malaysia. Supposedly Macau is in China (an island beside Hong Kong, famous for tourism).

After watching the documentary entitled “History of Sexuality”, I could conclude that sexuality can’t be separated with human being and really have a huge impact to civilization. Sex @ sexuality doesn’t mean refer to having sex only (relationship between 2 people) but it is more than that. I never thought that USA used to be close and taboo about sex, long…long time ago. It is a issue for women riding a bike? What???? sebab pakai skirt, n terdedah betis yg puteh melepak tu bila kayuh beskal'..wpon skirt labuh! memang la apa2 pon bole jadi simbol seks and attract men...mnakutkan bile pikir! What captivated me, I can say that ‘sexual education was first being taught in army’ and because of War, everything was changed. From people, culture, lifestyle and etc…to development of nation. Once, I heard that USA lost in Vietnam War, also because of sex. But, I’m not sure how accurate this statement was. However, I could imagine the relationship between it. =) Young powerful guys, beautiful weak girls….eemmm…what should I say more? Ooo la laaa. Could be or couldn’t be. Ooooo Candy, you’re being judgmental!!! Ooops … hahaahaa…

I’m amaze by how Margaret H. Sanger keeps promoting and educate women about birth control and family plan for years and years. Even though, she got difficulties along her way to advocate women’s reproductive rights. I totally agree with her opinion that no child should be unwanted or unloved. If the woman has baby every year, she really will get tired aka burnout? bukan senang ooo, nak mgandung ni n bersalin...kkdg rasa xsanggup nak jadi pompuan ni. huhuuu.. Thus, if the woman is working, they have to take care all the kids, family and others….wow, that’s really a huge…huge job for them. No time for self care. It reminds me to my neighbor, she has eight children (the year gap between children is so close). I can see that “the development” of her children was not in a good stage of development or environment (involved in social problems and etc). Maybe it is just my personal point of view only. I really salute to all moms who can manage all that stuff and at the same time, all the children were in a good hand. Like my mom! =)

Frankly speaking, I’m feeling uncomfortable (shy) seeing all the ‘artifacts, monuments, images and etc’, that showing or reflect the sexual organs. It is kind a weird feeling (traumatized) to see all that all over the place. Eeeeeee….. My mind keep refresh all the images in the first few days…, hard to get it out from my mind. Huhuuu… But I have to admit that “we’re different”, off course, their values or belief not as same like me. Take it as unique lesson to learn. mana tak ye, suma gambo, gambo penis, breasts, nude pics...sama ade real person or statues, drawing...ade satu gambo tu kat Italy, tombol sinki tu bentuk dia exactly rupe 'penis'! giler!!! mmg creative sungguh org2 yg reka ni...artistic sungguh!

note: This series is a part of my journals for my human sexuality class that I attended last summer.

Dead Man Walking.... (part 1)

Have you ever wonder how’s life would be, if you knew that you will die tomorrow??? Have you ever think to be as a spiritual advisor to person whom will be sentenced to death penalty? Do you think life is fair? Do you agree that, person whom killing people, should be punished…die too? Do you believe that people will changes? Is it hard to admit our fault and ask forgiveness? Is there forgiveness to those who’s hurt or harm others? These entire questions, we should ask ourselves, can we be in the same position or not? Are we brave enough as her?

All these been touched in my school theater entitled Dead Man Walking. The screenplay was based on a true story written by Sister Helen Prejean, published in 1994 and made into a major motion picture by Tim Robbins, starring Susan Sarandon. The story chronicles Sister Helen Prejean’s eye-opening journey with two men on Death Row to the execution chamber, and her awakening to the realities of US criminal justice system and use of capital punishment.

Even though, today is my full day. I started my day early in the morning, helping Jester program, done my role play tape, attending wedding ceremony, watch the play’, arrived home almost midnight. What a day! In the beginning, I fall asleep couple times….huhuu.. =P maybe because they were talking fully in southern accent, y’all… I can’t get it, man! Or maybe I’m too tired and sleepy. After a while, trying to keep in track and make sure my eyes are open, my ears listening as big as elephant. I’m awake =) it’s really interesting play to watch and get insight.

It does remind me to my enlighten trips at Pudu Jail, Kuala Lumpur…fifteen years back. I was in my secondary school at that time. I’m still young and full of zeal to explore anything in front of me. For those who didn’t know about the Pudu Jail, I’ll start by introduce the history of Pudu Jail or be known as Pudu Prison. The Pudu Prison was built in 1895 near the heart of Kuala Lumpur, capital city for Malaysia. It is among the historical and haunting building in KL. After more than 100 years stand still, it has been closed and reopened to public as a museum. Today, it operates as a facility for prisoner attending court hearing and as temporary detention center for drug addicts…. To be continue.

Life is full of colors...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

It is been a long time I did not wrote any kind of journal or diary. The last time I remember, I planning to create my own blog about my adventures coming to United States. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work yet. Still looking for time to get it done, such another excuses! Huh…. I think we should give credit for the bloggers for their time and effort to write down their thought and sharing their experiences. U guys had done a Great Jobs !!! thumbs up =) I should be thanks to McDouble that ‘ring a bell’ to me about my ‘blog’… siap jadi my first follower lagi untuk motivated aku…. Even though, I didn’t write it yet…zero..ye la…yela,,, weekend ni I mgarang la kalo x busy and ingat… heheee..(ayat 3 hari lepas). So, sempena mghargai die, aku mewajibkan diri utk menulis jugak tinta2 emas, sekapur sirih, ucap alu-aluan bagi sesapa yg rajin mbaca blog aku ni.

Bila dipikir-pikirkan balik la, aku tau pasal menatang “diari @ jurnal aka blog” ni bila aku dlm darjah 4 Amanah. Ingat jugak lagi aku masuk class ape… cekgu class ku Pn. Rofidah Ibrahim la yg memula memperkenalkan diari. X silap aku, kami pakai buku tulis yg harganya dulu 40sen je utk tulis “Diariku”. Xingat aku, tujuan kami kena start tulis diari tu. Yg pastinya, every week, kitaorg kena anta kat cekgu diari tu… xtau la apa yg aku tulis dlm tu. Mybe, pasal cekgu cantik kot, @ bdk class bising giler time cekgu xde… camtu la kot. Oooo… mmg di antara semua cekgu yg ade kt sekolah tu, aku rasa cekgu ni la yang paling cantek. Tapi tegas oooo…, jgn memain. Selepas tu, ade jugakla, aku membeli buku diari yg come’ konon-kononnya…akan start menulis la… tp hampeh…. tetap x abis jugak buku tu, ade la 2 ke 3 kali je aku menulis. Itupun sebab, aku gaduh dgn abg aku smpi mrajuk masuk dlm bilik… mgamuk dan menconteng diari tu… (paham2 aje la apa aku tuliskan)…heheee..tu cite sekolah rendah. Masuk menengah, yg aku ingat, aku bercerita dlm diariku pasal budak yg aku ade la sedikit ‘crush’ n ‘aku n da gang’ terbergurau dgn bdk baru yg masuk class…malu2… ensem plak tu mamat jambu tu. Ingat nak mainkan kawan lain, tup-tup…dia plak yg muncul…naya je kawan. Harapnya, aku start mengarang blog ni, consistent la gamaknya…mudahan.

Pasal diriku, bila org tanya ‘asal mana? Musti aku jawab, budak Key Ell kampong jer…coz aku mmg dlahirkan n dbesarkan d KL, tp start umur aku 16 thn, aku hidup merantau la ke negeri2 lain. Sampai la la ni… aku bangga katakan satu Malaysia aku dah sampai. Skang ni, aku duk menetap sementara kat negara orang, atau lebih tepat lagi, Fort Wayne, Indiana, United States of America. Bila sampai cni, soklan bonus @ yg paling glemer skali org tanya adalah “why do u choose here???.... dari banyak2 town, state yg ade kat US ni. Dah ada skrip dah dlm otak aku utk mjawabnya, repeat n repeat the same song…=)… ooo utk pgetahuan semua, sekolah aku skang ni sekolah yg come je & sejuk je mata memandang, ade tasik lagi…dan yg plg utama “based on Catholic traditions…n I’m the only one international muslim there.

Untuk itu, aku merajinkan diri utk menaip poem by uncle Robert Frost that has/quite influenced me to make up my mind to be a part of USF. Sajak ni kali pertama aku dengar bila cekgu English ku d matriks yg bagi kami baca dan ia muncul kembali apabila aku tgh mensearching info dan terjumpa dalam website Mercy. Semoga korang dapat menghayati makna tersurat n tersirat dlm sajak ni… kalo xpaham, ble la tanya aku nanti2.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I…
I took the one less travelled by
And that has made all the difference. ;)

Panjang juga intro aku ni…akhir kalam,

“Open your heart to see, touch, hear, smell, taste and feel the pain, thirst, hunger and last but not least balance your life with spiritual and please do reflect my blog…….. amat di alu-alukan” Wasalam =)

Ps: buat pencinta bahasa, maafkan aku sebab memcampur adukkan bahasa.